Let no one suggest that I am not grateful for my nearly three weeks of vacation. I was so lucky to be able to take that much time to sleep, read, travel, fill my house with people and love, and catch up on all most some of the busywork from the year. It was a lovely break.
But TODAY school started back up for my daughter. I’m heading out to teach again this afternoon. I’m playing Beethoven next weekend. I’m getting serious about the recitals I have scheduled for next month, I’m thinking ahead to some auditions the month after. I’ve been making reeds at a break-neck speed.
I am SO EXCITED to be back in the saddle and back in a routine and SO READY to do this year even better than last year.
I called 2018 my Year of Temperance, and I used it to back off, very intentionally, from many of the things that were keeping me busy and frantic. I did not accept new students. I withdrew from SEVERAL orchestra committees. I was far more intentional about my self-care. I worked hard to come to acceptance of what I could do and what I could not do at home while simultaneously running a business and working as a performer and educator. I now consider myself fully forgiven for not being able to put hot, multi-item dinners on the table every night. Sometimes my husband cooks, sometimes we get takeout, sometimes we just warm up soup. I can’t care about everything, and I finally got comfortable with that last year.
By the end of the year, though, I was ready to re-expand a bit. I did more soul-searching and realized that my word for 2019 is Generosity. Generosity of spirit. Generosity in performance. Generosity to myself and to others. This doesn’t take away from my hard-won self-care practices – but it does mean that I have a framework to put my choices in. Am I teaching this lesson to make $37, or to SHARE my knowledge and HELP this person to improve? Does this phrase GIVE something to the audience? Does this piece GIVE what I need it to? Am I posting this particular thing on Social Media because I need to say it, or because I think someone else needs to hear it?
Right now, this minute, I’m working on some grant proposals. I can’t wait for them to be submitted, so I can focus on my more interesting projects. I’m working on a book. That’s not for me, it’s for YOU. I will soon get back to my Five Minute Reedmaker series, and to do some live videos for everyone to enjoy. Did I mention I have a recital series next month? Watch this space for updates! (or my website, or my Facebook Page, or…)
So. I know it’s the 7th already, but this feels like the first day of my New Year, the Year of Generosity. Join me!